Fine Outside Dying Inside

Daddy’s screaming and Mommy’s crying
And all I can do is weeping quietly under my blanket
And my brother turns the TV loudly in the room next door
We are trying our best to deafen ourselves
But we can’t get ourselves off those fucking words
And yeah, we still know what happens outside
‘Cause Daddy’s still screaming and Mommy’s still crying

It’s something you can’t tell anyone
‘Cause Mommy said it’s a “family problem”
So keep it inside, dear, keep it inside
Keep it ‘til it kills you slowly from inside
Never show your grief
Never cry your tears
Because life is full of problems
And ours is just another one of them

I believe in God no more
Because I have no more faith in Him
Since He changed my former Daddy and Mommy
Or maybe He only changed me
Because now I can cry no more
No more prayers
No more Hallelujah
Because I’ve lost mine
A few years ago

They said if your parents are still alive and together
You are one of luckiest people in the world
So maybe I am lucky actually
But no one tells me what lucky is
Or maybe the definition has changed over the time

I feel so lost
And hope somebody would wake me up
And I will be back to twenty years ago
When Daddy would sing a lullaby for me
When Mommy would read a bedtime story for me
When Daddy’s not screaming and Mommy’s not crying.


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