It still amazes me how people think. Truth be told, we – humans – do like to categorize everything. Being kind is good, being mean is bad, helping others is good, theft is bad, etc. And, yes, it’s easier that way. We are making rules for ourselves, to rule ourselves, yet judge ourselves based on those rules.
It’s a natural thing to like people who agree on something with us. Either we realize it or not, we need acknowledgements; we need recognitions on something we believe as the truth – that is our opinion. It’s always safer to say something is right if we have someone backing us up, because if in the end we are proven wrong, at least we are not alone. Haha. Yup, we are that insecure. I think it’s also natural to feel negative towards people who disagree with us. It’s our primal reaction (not response) in such situation. Based on that theory, I found that we are very likely to make standards in our life.
For example, the normal diastolic blood pressure for humans according to the JNC 7 is below 80 mmHg, 80-89 is called pre-hypertension, 90-99 is called stage I hypertension, and 100 or higher is called stage II hypertension. There are lots of standards in our life, in every aspects: social, politics, economy, medicine, religion, or even in personal principles in life. What are we doing here? We are on the way of generalizing ourselves!
If she wears those clothes, she’s out of fashion. If he doesn’t smile, he’s a bad guy. If she doesn’t have curvy lips, she’s ugly. If he doesn’t get good grades, he won’t be success in the future. And many more. More and more standards everyday. We are hurting ourselves. If the normal value is between 50-100 and I am 49.5, does it mean I am abnormal? Nonsense. We judge too much, without knowing the reason, without wanting to know the reason. There is always a reason behind someone’s act or choice.
If someone doesn’t act the way society does, they judge him. If someone doesn’t think the way society thinks, they judge him. If someone doesn’t become what society wants, they judge him. Everything that doesn’t go with the flow is categorized as abnormal.
The worst of all, we tend to use our personal standards to judge others. We tend to look at problems from our point of view only, without trying to look from another point of views. Just because I think someone is doing bad, it doesn’t mean that he does bad. And just because I think I am good, it doesn’t mean I am good. Personal standards are biased. Please stop being so shallow.
Personally, I like to share my thoughts with others. It’s always been interesting to know how other people think. No matter how weird or how unique they think, I am always glad to listen. I have learned that we are able to tell others’ personality and character from what they think and say. Like I said, I am observant, and it’s always been a pleasure to learn about other people. Anyway, what is the world without diversity? I have learned not to judge without knowing the reason in the first place. I have learned not to judge without trying to look from another point of view. I have learned not to judge merely based on my values, standards, and principles. I have learned not to tell someone is bad or good just because of one simple mistake or one good deed. I have learned it all, because there are lots of times I was proven wrong; or simply stated, there are lots of times my standards are proven wrong.
It’s so sad to see a lot of problems happen because people are too proud to admit that there are possibilities for them to be the wrong one, that maybe other’s opinion is more right or applicable. People hate each other because of the stupid standards. People are busying themselves judging each other. Our time, our life, is way too precious to be wasted on such things. A lot can happen. We could die tomorrow; we could die the next minute, anything. We are merely visitors in this world, why wasting our time on judging others?
People make mistakes. We make mistakes. I make mistakes. Mistakes are natural, so why do we judge? If normal means doing everything the way other people do, thinking everything the way other people think, and be everything people set as standard, I’d rather be abnormal.
In the end, I have found that people who judge less are happier than those who judge more. I remember my Physics teacher in Junior High School, Ibu Kurniaty Marly, once said, “People tend to categorize things as black and white, without noticing that there are still various shades of grey in between.” Yes, this is a stupid standardization by society. And unfortunately, we are the society.
“Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to error that counts.” – Nikki Giovanni
“In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west; people create distinctions out of their own minds and then believe them to be true.” – Buddha Gotama