What Love Meant To Us


“I love you.”
I gaped at him. “That’s impossible.”
“Why not?”
“You couldn’t.” I stuttered. “You – you just couldn’t.”
“But why? I love you, and I know you love me too. Why are you denying it?”
“Because there are things we couldn’t control. Because it’s not as easy as it seems. Because only love is just not enough!” I yelled at him. I took a step back and glared hatefully at the man in front of me. The man who had said he loved me, and had proved it to me. The man who dared to climb the walls I built around my heart and broke inside. The man who, I reluctantly admitted, I loved in return.

“We are meant for each other!” He yelled back.
I scoffed. “How could you possibly know such thing?”
“Because I don’t need to put on a mask when you’re around! I can be myself when I’m with you. I don’t need to be perfect, because I know you stay for what I truly am. I don’t need to pretend to be somebody I am not. I can show you all my ugly faces and I know you won’t mind. And you know what? It works the other way around. You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need a mask as long as I’m with you. You can show me all your evils and I won’t be running away. I’m staying. I don’t need a perfect you, because I love you just the way you are.”
He stopped for a moment, catching his breath, and continued. “Because you love me for what I am, just like I love you for what you are. That’s how I know we are meant to be.”

“No, we are not.” I whispered. “All the other things are against us. We don’t stand a chance. Why trying and hoping if we already knew how this will end? Why hurting ourselves by taking risks to be broken, once again?”
“Because I know I will regret it my whole life if I’m not trying. You think I don’t know how difficult it would be? I am also scared, but I will fight for you, for us, because my fear of losing you is far more bigger than any fear I might ever have. I will fight for you no matter how little the chance we may stand. I don’t know where this will lead us to, but a journey with you is worth fighting for, no matter how long or how short our time together will be.”

Then he stepped forward and looked me in the eyes. “I won’t promise you perfection. I won’t promise you a happy ending fairy tale. I won’t say that this would be easy, but I promise, as long as you’re staying, I’m trying.”
“I promise you I will be there through all the happiness and shit, through all the tears and joy. I promise you I will be by your side until the end of our days – I will make sure you won’t go the journey on your own. I won’t give up on you; no matter how hard it will be, I won’t give up on us.” He smiled boyishly. “This I promise you.”

I laughed, and my voice cracked, because that was so sweet and I couldn’t say a single word. It was always like this with him – I hadn’t been able to find a single logical reason to counter his argument, no matter how hard I tried.
Seeing I was laughing, he joined in. We both giggled hysterically, because we were crazy and we were in love with each other. When we finally stopped laughing, I looked into his eyes and so did he. We searched into each other’s eyes and saw ourselves. We were naked in each other’s eyes; all masks and facades had disappeared, because we didn’t need them when we were together. He could show me his ugly faces and I could show him my evils and I wouldn’t mind and he wouldn’t be running away, because that was what love meant to us – the freedom to be ourselves without fear of being rejected.

And so he approached me and pressed his forehead into mine, looking at me with his beautiful blue eyes. “I love you.” He whispered and smiled and I had never felt so loved before.
“I love you too.” I closed my eyes and inhaled his scent. “I promise I will stay no matter how hard this would be. I will be with you through all the shit and happiness, all the joy and tears. I will be by your side as long as time would let us, because that’s where I belong.”
“So it is a yes, then?” He pressed his lips to mine, and I could feel his lips formed into a grin.
“It is a yes.” I mumbled into his lips and kissed him back, ignoring the fact that we were both standing in the middle of a heavy rain – because just like they said, who needs anything when you’re crazily in love with each other?

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