Accepting Kindness

The common “rule” in society is that we have to do good things as much as possible, or in another words, to “give” kindness to others. Little did they say that we also have to learn how to accept kindness from others.

A lot of people think that giving kindness is already good enough. Well, it is good indeed; but it’s still not enough – at least not for me.

Have you ever noticed that, at first, it is very hard for us to accept kindness from others? Allowing people to treat you, welcoming a “thank you”, returning a smile, or simply accepting some gift from someone. Some would say it’s because of our ego, but I think there’s still a lot of people who can’t accept kindness because they think they don’t deserve it.

Tell you what; you deserve most of the kindness which is offered to you. Why? Because you are good! People won’t do something good to you for no reason. In some cases, perhaps some of them do good deeds to you because they want something in return, but I believe we all are smart enough to recognize such action. Trust me if I say you are worth all those kindness.

Accept the kindness. By accepting others’ kindness, we help making them happy. By accepting their kindness, we encourage them to do more good deeds; we satisfy their need to give. By accepting kindness, we learn how to be humble, because by accepting things we learn that we still need another people to live together in this world. By accepting kindness, we learn to deal with our ego.

We do have a need to give, other than a need to receive/get. At first, we will try and try to fulfill our needs to get (any)things from others, and if those needs are fulfilled, there comes a different kind of need: a need to give. For some people, these two needs don’t have to be in such order; they can happily give without receive. (And based on my personal experience, these people are much happier than those who only receive without giving.)

There is a kind of happiness we could only get by giving and sharing to others – a feeling that we’ve done something good to others, that our life is worth living because we at least can do something (good) for the world we are living in (another human being, or animals, or plants, or environment, etc). That’s why I always encourage people to give something to others, even just a smile, because giving can make you happy.

Thus the importance of accepting kindness: to give other people chances to give. Most of the times, we are too focused on giving that we forget that it requires someone to accept all kindness that is given. Remember, not only you who want to give, other people do too. Don’t be selfish.

There will be times when we do good things and we will need other people to accept our kindness. Yes, we need people to accept our kindness, because kindness is a two-way act; it’s mutual – it’s not merely received, it has to be accepted. There’s no use of giving kindness if people won’t accept it. Even an anonymous donator needs someone to accept his/her charity. Without someone to accept our kindness, it will be meaningless.

Do not ever think that by accepting kindness we are more inferior to others, or worse, to think that we don’t deserve the kindness. There is a different kind of happiness from receiving/getting things, there is a different kind of happiness from giving things, and there is a different kindness from accepting things. I suggest you to experience them all, because a life has to be lived completely.


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