Mr. Guy In the Winter

Caught in the moment with a Mr. Guy in the winter
You were talking and I didn’t want to hear
Because we were different languages and your words spoke poison
– which could break any heart that was unprepared
I used to ask why and send prayers to God
But you laughed at me and said that the gods were on your side
I could do nothing on my own but to escape to my castle,
and to let the world go as you always wanted it to be

We are in the middle of the autumn
Where leaves are falling; they wither and die
Some people despise the gloomy atmosphere
But I know no other season ever since
Perhaps some broken things are not meant to be fixed
Just like the dying flowers, and this thing between us
But why am I still staying?
And why do you keep talking?

I wanted to hate you but I shouldn’t
How could I, when hating you means hurting myself as well?
I wanted to love you, but I couldn’t
How would I, when loving you means sacrificing the other people I also love?
You’re the reason I built walls and burnt bridges
Spending my life to find someone who isn’t like you
Because I don’t want to be the kind of woman you love
– the kind of woman you said you loved

We both have broken past
They created yours, and you created mine
We both ruin each other and ourselves
You with your hatred, and me with my ignorance
Because when I closed my ears, you said I’m a coward
When I showed you my tears, you said they were fake
When I shut the doors to block the pain, you said I’m weak
And when I finally learned to be numb, you said I’m naïve

We have both learned to be tough and logical
Because it’s the only thing we could do to survive
There was no space for peace and harmony
For I always loathe moments being with you
I’ve let hatred and bitterness creep into my heart
Because it’s the only way I could feel anything at all
Tell me, when the time finally comes,
Will I go around and destroy people, just like what you did to us?

Mr. Guy in the winter,
Are we both the victims, or are we the bad guys?
I’ve learned to be strong, and it has cost me dearly
Because people don’t understand, and they won’t understand
They said I’m heartless because I never cried
Oh, they didn’t know what happened behind those closed doors of mine
They didn’t know, and I will never let them know
Just because pride is the only thing I have now

Mr. Guy in the winter,
I will always be your little girl
Trapped in the past, because the present is too dark to live in
But no one seems to notice
Because I’m a good actress
Even though I’ve lost my faith in happiness
And it seems that there’s no way out for me
But to struggle for nothing

Mr. Guy in the winter,
It’s autumn in my place right now
Where leaves are falling, leaving a sweet taste of bitterness
But you won’t leave me alone, will you?
Ah, I am tired of this exhausting situation
I’ve lost my hope since the first line of this verse
So, should I join you in the winter?
Perhaps we both belong there, so that we won’t cause pain to any other people.


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