The Writer and the Racer


The Writer

I am a writer
I know what love is, because that is what I put into my characters’ eyes and that is what I pour into their dialogues

I am a writer
I know what love is; I know it’s not only sparks or words
It is when someone stays at your worst, and looks at you tenderly in the morning when you wake up with messy hair and puffy eyes and morning breath and still smiles at you
It is when someone doesn’t give up on you, even if you have already turned your back and walk away
It is about who first cross your mind when you’ve got a new joke to share, and who you want to tell about your day when you finally get home after a long day, and who you want to call when you’re lonely

I know what love is
It is about sharing food and staying up late on football nights or enduring sappy chick-flicks, because what matters is watching the show together
It is about yelling and cursing and screaming and crying, but in the end none of you really go because what you both have is worth more than the fights
It is about being imperfect and be okay with that, because finally there is someone who sees you inside and doesn’t cringe

I know what love is
It is not only about who shares the shit with you, but also about who helps you to flush the shit and gives you courage to walk when you feel tired as shit
It is not only about who dances with you before midnight, but also about who welcomes you home after the pumpkin and the mice have lost their magic as you descend the staircase
It is not only about words and sparks—it is also about giving a meaning to a certain word, and working together to keep the sparks even after a hundred years have passed

I am a writer
I know what love is, and I can write down thousands lines to explain it to you
I know a lot about love, because I write fairy tales and happy endings, princesses and knights in shining armor, castles and dragons
And I know how unreal I could make them be

But I am not a lover
I don’t know how to stay, because I only know how to move on
I don’t know how to fight for love, because dragons are unreal
I don’t know how to love, because I have no heart to give

I am not a lover
I hurt people, I break things, and I don’t feel anything at all
The walls are so high, and the bridges have been burned down
This isn’t a fairy tale, and a happy ending isn’t on the way

I am not a lover
And I don’t know how to love
I am just a writer
To write about love, that is all I’m good at.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s