Unconditional Love

I don’t believe in unconditional love.

There is always a reason for loving someone/something. We love a person because he/she makes us happy and complete and feel loved. We love an idea because it sits well with our mind and conscience. We love God(s) because He/They (is/are said to) love(s) us unconditionally.

If we are to be honest, even the so-claimed “unconditional” love and “unrequited” love always trace back to ourselves. We proudly claim that we love someone unconditionally because we want people to know that we love someone unconditionally, and that makes us feel good about ourselves. Even a non-romantic love is also selfish. We love our parents because they’ve been good to us. We love our children because they make us feel like a good parent. We love people who hate us because that makes us feel like a virtuous person who doesn’t hate those who hate us.

All love is selfish. No one loves without a reason. The only condition in which love isn’t selfish is when we don’t have to choose to love someone/something—that is when “to love” an object is a default state of our mind.

When we don’t have to choose to love or not to love a thing, it means that we will love everything that exists, because there is no possibility not to love. It also means that we will love everyone/everything at the same level, without any preference or priority. Hence wise people said “true love is selfless” (I believe the more proper word is “compassion”).

All forms of love only aim to satisfy our ego. We love someone or something because loving that person or thing is a fulfillment for ourselves. That is why love is blind. That is why love has no boundaries. The heart wants what it wants, the mind sees what it wants to see, and the ego does everything it takes to defend itself. We cannot love without ego, because ego is what makes us human.

Also read: Love is Selfish

Note: I’ve been through some of my old posts and it is interesting to see how my perspective regarding love has changed through time. As you said, age brings wisdom indeed. :’) Happy Valentine’s Day, Love! ;*

4 thoughts on “Unconditional Love”

Saya setuju. Tak ada cinta yang tak pakai alasan. Jatuh cinta terhadap seseorang tanpa alasan itu menurutku sesuatu yang tak mungkin. Mereka yang mengatakan jatuh cinta tanpa alasan itu paling karena sedang jatuh cinta. Atau mungkin sedang ingin mewujudnyatakan anggapan bahwa cinta yang lebih baik itu adalah cinta yang tanpa alasan. Padahal akan lebih baik bila cinta itu muncul karena sebuah alasan yang jelas. Aku jatuh cinta padanya karena dia cantik, misalnya. Kalau katanya kecantikan tidak akan abadi, aku bisa saja bilang “aku awalnya jatuh cinta padanya karena dia cantik. Itu bukan berarti aku tidak akan mencintainya lagi kalau dia sudah tidak terlihat cantik saat dia tua nanti. Aku tentu akan berusaha menemukan alasan lain untuk tetap mencintainya.” Itu misalnya. 🙂

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